heather1975

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 I have no excuse I just suck at LJ.  We are all doing great.  We survived Daddy going on vacation with his dad and brother for 6 days.  They dragged but we made it :)

I got to meet Ryan Reynolds, Sandra Bullock, Mary Steenberg and Craig T. Nelson.  They are filming 'The Proposal' here and Mark is working the details.  Ryan is hummina hummina, goodness is he a good looking guy!!!!

Ellie is 8 months old.  She is talking all the time, slaps you five, does 'sooo big' and skooches on her tummy backwards.  By talking, I mean babbling of course :P

I try to skim over friend's entries when I have time.  Our naptimes are still in my arms breastfeeding...I know :/  I can only picture her sleeping in my arms on the boob when she is a teenager, lol

Here she is

     We are still alive, gosh I am awful at posting.  I feel like I have no time with baby free hands and when I do I am guilted into cleaning (by my own nagging mind)  Things are sooo good here.  If you told me last fall that the screaming little baby in my arms would turn out to be such a happy funny baby I wouldn't have believed you, but was I blessed!
     Ellie has the best sense of humor.  She is such a little ham and plays it up when she has an audience.  She is sleeping 12 hours a night, waking around 9AM every morning.  I am still cosleeping and getting lots of negative feedback about it, but it works for me, I wouldn't change a thing.  Waking up with her big grin beside me, well this is what I waited and oworked hard for.  :)
     Mark is taking a new position so he will be home nights and weekends.   Sounds ideal, but honestly, I like him working nights.  I am sleeping anyway, and it gives us the days together.  I love having him around to go food shopping, to the Dr.'s appts etc.  
     Our doggie was diagnosed with Cushings disease.  I swear, when you try to get ahead with bills, etc, it just bites you in the butt.  He is on expensive meds for the rest of his life and has to have expensive tests frequently.  Putting him down isn't an option for us and I can't just ignore the fact that he is ill so we are trying to make his last years good ones.  He was our first baby!
     Ms. Elizabeth has already been on a trip to Florida.  She saw the Red Sox at spring training in Ft. Myers.  (Cyndi I am sorry I didn't call, we were in Tampa one day and it was a weekday and I knew you were teaching, we thought about you though!)  Ellie did great and loved the fact that she didn't have to wear socks :)
     I will make a sincere effort to be here more, I know I said it before, but I miss you guys.

Here is out lil' one!

 Woohoo we got the new computer.  No more excuses for me not to post or comment :)  Have I missed any big news?  I mean, I love reading about your daily life but I would feel like a complete you know what if I missed a marriage or pregnancy announcement or something.

I am feeling a bit more like the old Heather.  I have been leaving the baby every other day with Mark to go tanning, I know it's not good for me but we are heading to FL in 2 weeks and I don't want to match my white shorts.   It's like a mini vacation for me laying there with a fan blowing and the radio on, ahhh heaven, lol

Next Thursday I am going to dinner with the other mommies from group, first time I will leave her for more than 1/2 an hour.  She won't take a bottle, eek but she did try rice cereal today and loved it.  We only gave her a few teaspoons but she knew exactly what to do, it was precious.  We'll see if it is okay with her tummy and then progress to sweet potatoes, and peas, haha it's such a fun stage.  I can't believe this is the same baby as the fall, what a turn around thank goodness.

I have lost only 9 lbs. since the 3rd of Jan. and I need or want rather, to lose 30 more.  I am back to prepregnancy weight but I was my highest then so....I need warm weather so I can get out and walk!  This weather isn't helping the situation :P

And, surprise, since this is 100% of my life right now, pics of my lil' darling

Ellie is going to be 5 months next week,  how did this go by so fast yet so slow?  LOL  She is still co sleeping and it's just easier for me.  She has never slept through the night, averaging about 2 night feedings, but these past 2 weeks holy smokes, she is up sometimes 6 or 7 times, not necessarily to eat but it's the only way to soothe her.  I can't do the cry it out method, I just can't so I bought the No Cry Sleep Solutions today and we'll see.  I am trying not to stress about it, I am cherishing this time with her.  No adult is still nursing or sleeping with their parents, so whatever.  I don't have to work so I can relax or sleep during the day....well in 2 weeks I have a 3 month old 2 days a week.  I am having a panic attack because Elizabeth is definitely a high needs baby.  She has got quite a fiesty temperment and will not nap still unless it's on me or in the swing.  I guess she will have to nap in a swing those two days because how could I feed Logan if I have her on me?  I know I'll figure it out but it's scary to think of having 2 infants when I can't quite get the hang of one!

I started WW last Thursday and this morning I had my first weigh in, I am down 4.2 lbs.  I am thrilled.  I am reading all of your journals but it's so rare that I have time to type responses.  When I do have my hands free for a few minutes I try to update!  

I can't believe I haven't been on here in about a month!  The time is flying.  My peanut is 18 weeks old!

Christmas was good, we had 30 people here for dinner, yes I am insane!!!  Elizabeth is doing great, the only issues we have are sleeping.  We still co sleep and she is up 2 to 3 times a night.  Her naps are in my arms or in the swing, I am trying to break that habit but when I put her in the crib she only naps for about 5 minutes.  

She has started sucking her thumb, she talks non stop, I sing to her at night and she sings back to me.  In the morning she takes my cheeks in her hands and tries to kiss me with her open drooly mouth and talks in the softest coos.  I love this kid so much it hurts.  She had my 22 year old brother in tears on Christmas and all she had to do was grin at him :)  

She has about 18 friends from our mommy group.  We go to lunch with them, go over to houses, and meet at a tea house every Friday.  It has done wonders for me!  Today we are going to the Cheesecake Factory with a gift certificate.  Tomorrow is it for us.  Back to WW because my weight is getting me really down.  I just want to feel better and be able to go to the beach with Ellie this summer without finding something to hide in.  I don't want to be able to wear a bikini, I just want to be able to have a bathing suit on and feel okay.  I see pics of myself and it isn't me, ugh. 

I have scanned all of your journals when she is in my arms asleep, it's a rare occasion that I get to type!  I hope you all are doing well, and Gail thank you for the New Year's Eve ecard :)  Also, thank you for the Christmas cards, I apologize for not doing them this year.


Here is my big girl

 Chantel, 

    Is this it?  I love it, I think it's so cute :)   Claudia is absolutely beautiful by the way!!  My mom was here when I was looking through this and she asked who she was, she is so precious.  How is her jaundice?  Ellie had it but not so badly that we needed the bed.  It took her a few weeks to have it disappear.

Thank  you Lauren :)

Here is another picture of Ellie taken this morning.  I really can't believe how fast this is going.  As trying as it's been, I am getting a bit sad putting away her outgrown clothes :(

Ellie is back to 'normal' now thank goodness.  I wish I had a guarantee that each day would be like the past two.  But, hey I'll take them as they come.  She is so smiley and content now knock on wood.  
 
I went to a 'wellness' party on Monday and they were promoting Juice Plus, it's a supplement but research has shown pregnant women who take it have healthier umbilical cords.  So, I was suckered in and bought some.  The woman had a Happy Meal on the table.  Everything looked fine, well it was EIGHT years old!!!!!!!!!  And aside from the roll starting to crumble a bit it looked fine.  How gross is that?  She said 'I don't know what we are feeding our children but this isn't food if bacteria won't even eat it'.  GROSS GROSS GROSS

I hope you are all doing well!  Lauren and Chantel your babies are gorgeous.  I do scroll through the journals and read them but like I said, commenting is tougher than it used to be but then I feel rude when I don't!   I love reading about your lives and seeing your photos :)

Things here are soo much better, except my grandfather passed away Monday at 3PM.  He went peacefully and he had Alzheimers.  I am sad, but grateful he isn't wasting away in that smelly nursing home anymore.

Here's some pics of Ellbell ( I keep calling her random names, poor kid isn't going to know she is really Elizabeth, lol)

Well I spoke too soon.  These past days have been torture.  UGH  I HATE when we have a setback because it was like a tease when all was fine.  Just when I think we are out of the woods, bam we are hit again.  Her new thing is to not nap. LAUREN....how old was Coleman when he became 'posessed'?  LOL, I don't know if it's a growth spurt or what's going on.  She used to fall asleep on me for up to 2 hours, now it's 15 minutes and that is after 20 minutes of screaming and fighting what she used to love (being rocked and walked around, sung to, etc...)  She is currently sleeping in her swing thank goodness, but the longest nap she has taken in that is 40 minutes.  She is up all night, crying in her sleep, passing gas, etc.  I know this will end, but when??????????  I am trying not to lose my sanity.

 I am such a slacker!  Things here are great.  We had a little setback 2 weeks ago, but now she is a happy non hurting baby!  I'm still not eating dairy and it's hard, I need pizza!  I do read your journals but actual typing is tough, she naps on my shoulder.  She has gotten into that habit because of the stinkin' reflux, I hope we can break it.  Here's my peanut :)

Elizabeth is so much better.  I wonder if it was the dairy.  I have been off it for three weeks now.  It's really hard though, I miss cheese!   She is still soo gassy at night, it makes her cry on and off all night even though she is sleeping.  And, her nose gets so stuffed and will occasionally be runny but it's bright white mucous that looks like milk the poor thing.  We are heading to mommy's group this morning.  I went to one at our hospital on Tuesday, there were four sets of twins, yikes.  I couldn't do it, I just couldn't.  I am having a hard enough time adjusting to one (Carrie my hat's off to you, I read your journal, I couldn't handle a toddler either!)  Ellie doesn't nap unless she is on my shoulder, that is a pain in the butt although I have become quite adapt at doing things one handed.
I hope you are all doing well!!!

 

Pictures of my baby, I have officially turned into that annoying mom who talks of nothing but her child, lol

Lauren, 
     I just got my mail and I want to thank you so much.  I can't tell you what that meant to me.  You are the friend I aspire to be, honestly, you are so thoughtful.  Thank you again, and I looooooooove your handwriting :)  I have to meet you someday!

We have been having a much better day today!  And, yesterday aside from 2 pain attacks and normal baby fussing she was great.  She slept most of the day so I was worried about her awake all night.  She went down for good at 8ish and woke up around 3!  She was up again at 6 briefly, and for good at 8.  I feel so rested.  I wonder if it's me cutting out dairy or the colic ease gripe water.  I know it takes up to 2 weeks to get all dairy out of your system though, hmm

This is TMI but she has had weird looking BMs since Saturday.  They are no longer the normal yellow, they are brown and really mucousy.  She is still wetting her diapers though so I am not trying to be neurotic about it.  I will mention it to the nurses in the family just in case.

I hope you are all doing great!  

Here's Elizabeth at 8 weeks, and the picture we took to send to both hospitals
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I have exhausted google search engine for colic.  I have found support boards that are helpful.  This is such an emotionally draining experience.  It kills me to see Ellie in so much pain.  My sister said that she sounds like her limbs are being ripped off one by one.  She spent all day yesterday and last night in excruciating pain, wide eyed with tears streaming down her face pleading with whoever was holding her to help.
She kept doing this man sized raw sounding burps, passing gas and projectile vomiting.  There would be a small reprieve where she would whimper and start to 'talk' like she was so relieved and wanting to tell us what she had just been through, when all of a sudden she would grimace, frantically curl up her legs trying to walk away the pain and let out the most agonizing cry.  There were times when she would stop breathing and I would have to gently shake her to get her to breathe again.
She does sleep at night, waking at 3ish to feed and then without fail between 5 and 7. she starts with the pain while she is still in a deep sleep.  It eventually wakes her up, today was 6 AM and she screamed until 3PM.  There was an hour in between when she slept in the wrap while I walked her all around town.  She passed out until 5, ate and went back to sleep.  I have given her two doses of colic ease, please God let this be working.  It contains dillweed so we call her little pickle now, because her breath smells like pickle juice :)
I met another mother yesterday while I walked the beach with Ellie.  It was 80 out and the water was so warm I got to walk along the water.  Anyway, her Blakely was 2 weeks old and she told me to come to a mothers meeting this morning.  I really had every intention of going.  But, she was screaming her head off, I couldn't even get dressed.  Also, how depressing to sit and listen to happy mothers, I just can't right now.
I have eliminated all dairy from my diet in case she has a milk allergy.  So, I have been on soy only to learn most kids with a milk allergy are also allergic to soy.  Friggin' great, I'll do two weeks without dairy, and then if that doesn't work I'll try two weeks without both.
I am exhausted.  I sobbed all day today by myself, what a mess.  I just sat on the bed praying for God to give me the pain instead.  It is ripping apart my soul to watch my baby deal with this.  I told every stranger on the street who stopped me to say how cute she was all about my hellish time right now.  I am sure they think I am looney tunes.  They clearly didn't want a conversation, they were just passing by but I grabbed their ears and vented.
Mark is on his way home.  He's going to hold her so I can get laundry and dishes done.  My house is falling apart but whatever, that is the least of my worries.  Having some kind of organized cleanliness around me makes me feel better though.  Ugh, if you read through this thank you.  Please tell me I'll look back when this is in my archives and say 'That was such a blur........'

~ There is life after colic. The time in your arms is a very short period in the total life of your child, but the memories of love and availability last a lifetime.~

I took Elizabeth back to the Dr.'s this morning.  The Zantac isn't working at all.  The poor baby, my father in law even cried last night when he witnessed 'an attack'.  She did sleep from 11:30 pm until 4 am which was great, and then fell back asleep until I woke her up at 9:30.  I made the mistake of moving her off of me to her moses basket, lol

We saw a new Dr. today who was on call.   He is brilliant, and even has his own website
http://www.drbrianorr.com/1.html
Anyway, he said she never should have been put on Zantac.  He showed me a postion to hold her that does help her stop crying.  He recommended a warm water bottle on her tummy, etc.  He also thought it was great that I was trying the homeopathic Colic Ease.  I would rather go the natural route, no more chemicals in her tiny body (she weighs in at 9lbs 2 oz).   
Our pediatrician, who is the same office is a family friend so it's awkward if I switch, but I love this guy.  He really listened to me and answered all my questions.   He told me that the colic peaks at weeks 6-8 and he will put in writing that in 6 weeks, this will all be a distant memory.  That would be a miracle.  I want to enjoy this beautiful little girl instead of walking on eggshells waiting for the next attack.  Yesterday she screamed for 12 hours.  Yep, 12 hours.  Thank God for the carrier, she slept for our hour walk.

I hope you are all doing well :)

Well the screaming started again.  She had an 'attack' last night that brought my friend to tears when she witnessed it.   Ellie finally let out a raw sounding, man sized burp and she quieted down.  The poor baby, I am desperate.  The carrying helps a lot.  We have been taking long walks together and I rarely put her down, which is okay.  I love her more than words and I cherish the bonding we are doing.  I ordered Colic Ease, it's supposed to be all natural, and it won praises from other parents in our position.  I hope it's okay to take with Zantac, at least that is what the nurse from the Dr.'s office said. 

I had my appt today, finally got the green light for sex, lol  It's been since May, scary I know.

Here is Elizabeth today at 7 weeks, and a photo of her as I see her, on the front of me all day :P